Almost Married.... But Not Quite

I consider myself off the market, no ring yet, but in the future most likely. For me and my boyfriend, the responsibility of a baby, a home, a dog, and shared assets seems like enough for now, especially because we were thrown into a lifestyle we weren't planning. On occasion I call him my husband, usually to strangers, and only to make it easier than explaining a long story of the baby, etc. And I truly, honestly do not have a problem with no being married yet - I'm practically married, as all my friends say.

And yet, in the competitive eye that is fake friends and acquaintances, I somehow seem that I am looked at as not in the same league as my married friends. Amidst coversation about married life, I feel like I am being handled with baby gloves, that I wouldn't understand really being married, because I'm not really married. This double standard makes me want to scream whenever we get together at a barbeque, a birthday, or any other couples get-together.

The "Marrieds" stick with the married women, and the not-yet married gals stick to their own. As if taking official vows and having a reception seperates these two groups of women to the point that they can no longer carry a proper conversation with each other. And then there's me, in between.

The Marrieds own homes, cars, pets, take vacations, have proper jobs, as do my husband and I, we have the addition of a child, which none of our friends do. But still, I feel as if I'm being excluded from something they have, something only an engagement ring can bring me.

The Single gals live with their parents/friends, might borrow a family car, and have no real ties and responsibilities to anyone but themselves. They also hate marraige speak, wedding talk, all that jazz, which I can completely understand. So I'm stuck excluded from the married circle and surrounded by single women who do not care to hear about my life which seems so dull next to their own.

Now don't get me wrong, just because I am almost married does not mean I am not still the same girl I used to be. I am, I still love The Hills, doing my hair and makeup, I love shopping and all things girly, but what concerns me most now is housing prices, daycare, the new bugaboo stroller, how to keep excitement in my "almost" marraige.

This struggle in my social life really bothers me at times, but then there are times when I see another young mom at the park, with a two year old, and my daughter and her child will play. And for a second I'll connect with that mom and we'll share a joke or two about children and be on our way. For that little while I realize there are other people in the world that exist about children, and I just need to find them, I'm not alone in this.